I just don't get it. . .

Why is it that when you want so badly not to be a part of this world, that it seems it gets the best of you?

I was trying to find a parking spot, which is not a fun thing to do.
It can take up to an hour depending on the time.
I was well into my second half hour when I saw a car leaing and another car backing up at least half a block to make it there.

I went into survival mode and sped up to try to make it there first.
I didn't so I drove around.
Only to be met with the guy yelling at me indiscernable things.
I didn't know what I had done, got frustrated and rolled down my window, gave the guy a thumbs up, and said
"Way to be a man".
Hmmmmmmmmm.
Why do I do these things? I also find it odd that I find a sarcastic thumbs up my method of road rage.

Regardless it was uncalled for.

So as I circled the block I came upon the man and his wife or girlfriend and child walking.

I rolled down my window and yelled
"what did I do?"
because I honestly wanted to know.

This was not smart.
The response I got was,
"Keep expletive driving you expletive expletive."

I started bawling of course.

It just makes me frustrated and heartbroken that I added to this world that already has plenty of conflict.

Does anyone else feel like as soon as you start to get a grip (or think you do) on one area you are lacking others get exponentially worse?

Just another example of how we aren't made for this world, yet must try to show others the worth in this world and how to live it.

I definetely struck out today.

But thanks to this certain guy who died on a certain cross, tomorrow is another chance to live a life worthy of his sacrifice.

attempting to stay in grace
mere